:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

Child Prostitution.

I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

-Knock Knock. -Come in.

Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

What does a cat sound like when it's being raped by a human? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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