A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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Roses are c0ck violets are vag this joke is for george i like it like that<3xxxx

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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Girls Lacrosse.

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prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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