What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

what did the cab driver say to the black man when he got into his cab? Where to, sir?

I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

Chuck Norris.

Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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