- Anti Joke

Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

A very rich man had a son. He was very proud of his son. The son was smart and diligent and did well in school. On the son's 16th birthday, the father went to his son and said "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your 16th birthday." The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 1,000 green golf balls. The father was taken aback. "But son, that's such a strange request! Might I remind you that I'm VERY rich, and I could buy you ANYTHING your heart desires?!" But the son was adamant, and his father, though confused, honored his son's request. Some years later the son graduated from college at the top of his class. His father, once again beaming with pride, came to his son. "Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your college graduation." The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 2,000 green golf balls. The father once again was confused, and a bit angry. "Son, that's a ridiculous request! I'm offering to buy you ANYTHING you want! I'm a very rich man, and almost NOTHING is beyond my requisition! So please, reconsider, and tell me what you REALLY want!" But the son was adamant, and his father, though bewildered and frustrated, honored his son's request. Years later, the son, following in his father's footsteps, was a very successful businessman. He'd married a beautiful wife and borne his father many wonderful grandchildren. One night as they ate dinner in an expensive restaurant, his father said to his son, "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you in honor of your fantastic success and wonderful family." Once again without blinking his son asked for 3,000 green golf balls. Enraged, his father slammed his hands on the table and yelled, "WHY MUST YOU MOCK MY GENEROSITY SO?! FINE; YOU'LL HAVE YOUR STUPID GOLF BALLS, BUT YOU HAVE LOST YOURSELF A FATHER!" And so the trade was made; the son's strange request for the animosity of his once-doting father. Several years later, the father and the son not having spoken once since, the father got a call from a hospital informing him that his son had gotten into a terrible car accident and was dying. Forgetting all about his grudge against his son, the father flew down to his son's side in a flash. His son was conscious for the first time in days as his father arrived. "Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I'm so sorry for disowning you! I know I never should have! I'm so sorry for the years we've lost! But I must know, son, why did you want all those green golfballs; those wretched orbs that drove us apart?! Surely you had a grand design for them; you're the perfect son and I could not have asked for anything more in the world than you!" His son, on death's door, looked into his father's eyes and said weakly, "well, father, I-" And then he died.

So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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