What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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hi

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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Yo mama is so fat, when she went for a swim at the beach, she had a GREAT time.

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the the black man die? Because he had an incurable disease.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Today is May 18 2016.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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