Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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what did the blind kid want for christmas? world peace.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

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PISS OUT MY ASS!!!!!

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why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

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why did the little boy cry? some gang killed his family infront of him.

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quinn knows four other quinns but he ruined my life so he tells me to stop because im ruining this website but i disagree and now he is trying to tell me a joke and im not listening he is still trying but i don't care because i hate him,

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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