Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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taking out the trash... at night

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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minorities.

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

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Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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suck my balls mr.garison

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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A black man walks into Best Buy and buys a Television full price.

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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