GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's White and can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man swim across the lake? He didnt. He drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a irish man walks past a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

thumb_up thumb_down +36

If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops