How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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What's black and hangs from a tree in my yard? A tire, and it also happens to be a swing.

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Which is Taller ? the Giraffe or the Lion is faster ?

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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