Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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15

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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My love life

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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