The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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