“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

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Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

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a blond applies to college she gets in because she did well in highschool

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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