A man buys free health care...

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read me write me

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Why did the boy cross the road He didnt he got hit by a car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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batman farted so hes retarded

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What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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is it big enough to have sex in????

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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