- Anti Joke

A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

Do you play piano? No

Whats better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

What's round and orangey? An orange.

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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