Whats black, blue, and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my trunk.

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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What did the cancer patient get for his birthday HIV

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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