A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Rylan Clark

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

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What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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