You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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What happened to Mitchell after he left the store? He walked

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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Roses are red Vilots are blue God made people pretty What the happend to you

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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