What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew. The elephant has elephant cancer.

what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

Has u seen my grammar?

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

A woman walked out of the kitchen.

what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? A: None. He was raised by gorillas, who are unlikely to have ever heard of Christmas.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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