a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

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canaan and mallory

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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