A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Charcoal is black, So is my neighbor.

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Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

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What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

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Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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What's funny about my gay friend? He is a stand-up comedian.

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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