How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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An Irish man walks past a bar... it could happen...

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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A black man walks into a movie theatre... And pay for a ticket that would grant him access to watch the verity Of movies available to watch that month of screening. He picks the warhorse which was critically acclaimed by many respected critics. He watched and observed the positive and negative points of the the film. When it ended he took a long a ride home on the number 76 bus to ibswitch road where he lived during that time, and wrote about his opionion on the movie and how he thought the movie could be improved. He done this same routen for another six months, every saturday, until he died of aids shorty after a homosexual fling.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Tommy got neutered.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Mrs. Welsh

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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