Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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angelo snyder is not ga

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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yolo your orange looks orange

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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Bumsniffer

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Mitt Romney

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nba live 13

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops