Q:Whats funny? A:Genocide

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

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Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Your dad is so gay, he does not have a girlfriend.

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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whats young and never moved? still born baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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