Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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Knock knock Shut up

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?... CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT, IDIOT

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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I'll be back. Please use the door.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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What do you call a man with no body, just a nose? Nobody Knows.

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Whats another word for Thesaurus?

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why did the leprechian meleste Justin Bieber? ..... He stole his lucky charms.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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