a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

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What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

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Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops