What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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What did the Homosexual say to the Southern American? I'm A Homosexual. What did the Southern American say back? I Respect That.

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one stop shop

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– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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You read the Terms of Service.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops