What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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White NBA players.

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what did the kid do after the rabbit told him trix are for kids? he beat him with a stick then ate some sushi.

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A: Your grandma, naturally black haired, beaten to a pulp and left pale white with blood covering the majority of her body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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