100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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Oh...okay, good.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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knock knock Goodbye

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Your mom is so fat she's overweight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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