knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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Type 2 diabetics

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Roses are red, yup.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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Sometimes black people kill other black people.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new car? ....neither did he.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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