Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican and an American are on a plane. It crashes due to an oversight concerning its weight limit, killing all of its passengers.

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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