Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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What do you call a black man with mishap-in head scares on the left side of his face and a 3rd degree burns on the right side? a very unfortunate guy.

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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