Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, which would e very unsafe to do.

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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Feet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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