why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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denisssssssssssssss

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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One morning a man was frustrated at the dining table. His wife ask "What's wrong?". He says "I can't fit this stupid puzzle pieces together." His wife asks "What's it a picture of?" The man says "A rooster" The wife says "Honey, put the cornflakes back in the cereal box." The man says "no".

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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