Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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I love Japan. It's the bomb.

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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What do you can a Brazilian woman wearing a bikini? It depends on the case, but usually Brazilian women are named "Maria", "Ana", "Júlia" and many others kinds of names, with their root being hispanic, portguese and latin lenguages. Respectively, the names quoted have the English translation being "Mary", for Maria, "Anne", for Ana, and July, for Júlia.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

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I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

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What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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