10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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69. Yeah- that's my street address.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A boy with red hair is happy.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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