Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack. She's dead.

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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there square amphibious wood gum flag homos CC

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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