Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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What happened to the teenager who was raped and murdered? Who knows? They never found the body.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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