What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Homo say what?

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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