What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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Farts smell bad!

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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No!

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how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

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Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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What did the teacher do? He taught.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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person 1: wanna hear a knock knock joke? Person 2: sure! Person 1: okay you start person 2: knock knock Person 1: who's there?

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i dont fisish anythi

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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BIG PENIS

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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