Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

That's not what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the little boy sad? He was recently molested.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

thumb_up thumb_down

Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops