Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hail Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

a blond is walking down a dark allie,.... she is raped and killed by the following morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -263

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a cow? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops