Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than eating cows. Death

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than cancer? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call your mother? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

This schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. She scored poorly from her lack of practice and experience and was turned off from the sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the prisoner say to the other prisoner? I am going to anally rape you.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Up to 50% off."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops