Why couldn't the bird fly? cause it was a penguin

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A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

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Here's a joke, a black man walks into a store and buys something. that's it.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Take wrong turns

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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feminism

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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Where does someone who has lost his arm, has a bleeding head, is mentally ill, has strep throat, and lung cancer go? Too late, they died.

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Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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