What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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What should I name my dog?

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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