What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

women rights

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

A hitman and his target walked in the same bar togather what happend? nothing because a hitman has better things to do and the target would lay low.

A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

knock knock who's there? refelection reflection who? reflection in the mirror, it's you -lINDz@Y $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ s/0 to my B0oFrand J0rdan MiLaRR

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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