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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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What do the Jewish man, the Black man, and Mexican man all have in common? They all miraculously like cantalope.

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

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Elizabeth Warren

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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