Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

A horse walked into a barn...

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

My mom touched my wiener : \

Doctor: Knock, Knock Patient: Who's there? Doctor: The interupting doctor Patient: The interruptin.... Doctor: You have aids.

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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