How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

terry stockton is straight

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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