what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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whats worse than a kane nothing

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What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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What's the difference between a kleenex and a man? One absorbs your tears while the other makes you cry.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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