Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

Golf.

what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Our experimental treatment for Anterograde amnesia has failed. I will inform your family.

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

What's worse than dieing? Not much.

steven hawking walks into a bar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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