why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

In soviet russia, roses are violet

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

why did the chinken cross the rode? why? to get to the gay persons house. Knock, Knock. Who's there. the chicken.

Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

A black man walks in to a bar and says ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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