Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

Spotto

What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

YOLO

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

Knock Knock. Come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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