Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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I17. I17. I17. That was my best impression of a Bingo caller.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops