What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

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What is a black guy's favorite hobby? Stamp collecting.

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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