Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Rebecca Black sings a song.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Ancient Greeks rights

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the black man say to the young white woman during sex? you are a wonderful woman

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why is the ground wet It rained

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There were 4 black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff. The sad thing was it was a nice car.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops