I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

THe Election

http://www.fotokristall.narod.ru/mov0001.swf

how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

Click here to end the world.

What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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