What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

What happened to the blind boy? He went deaf.. helen kellered....

the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

Women's sports.

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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